I keep thinking about this question in interviews, “where do you see yourself in five years?”

Don’t ask how I’d answer that in a job interview setting haha. But I keep thinking about this question, especially now where I’m in a befuddled state.

You see, I’m feeling lost.

Wanted to do a quick segue; I keep hearing Simple Plan’s Welcome to My Life as I write this, and it’s so relevant.

Anyway, going back. Feeling lost is a terrible feeling to be, especially when you’re in your mid-30s, trying to figure out what you want to do with your life and how you want to earn and save money in the long run, considering the world economy and AI.

Back in my 20s, I thought a career was linear. You’d start at the entry-level, move up to an associate-adjacent tier, then become a manager, and who knows, be part of the C-suite, if you’re lucky.

But I no longer want to climb up the career ladder, you know. That’s such an outdated notion. I think what matters more to me is to find peace, even while I’m working.

I’m currently juggling different responsibilities, and I know with jobs, I have some difficulty with stability. And I have all these questions, looping in my head:

• What the fuck am I going to do?
• Will I be in my current jobs for the next three years?
• What’s my back-up plan?

I’ve only touched the surface of my thoughts with my counselor regarding this matter. During our recent session, she offered a reflection question:

“What do I want?”

I’d like to connect this with Venus Retrograde because it makes sense for people to assess what they want to do.

And if I were to answer this question, one of my answers would be peace. I think it’s achievable, in terms of career. But, at the moment, I’m not optimistic in my situation, in terms of getting the peace I’d like. Well, I’ve tasted peace. Or, some semblance of it. But I wouldn’t be able to obtain another answer to the question: money.

I’m holding on to hope that the job I’ll end up with for the next five years, doesn’t have an opening yet, and it’s waiting for me. I’m holding on to hope that maybe I might find a passive income job, which won’t allow me to worry too much about taking on so many things.

For now, I have to make concessions (sacrifices seem too harsh a word). It’s not ideal, but I need to make do because I know I have my strengths, limitations, and boundaries. What I can do for myself now is to make peace with my current arrangements. I can cry over it. I can reflect over it. I can probably find replacements with my arrangements. But, I’ll stick around for some of them. I know I’ll make decisions when it gets too heavy or tough.

Featured Image Credit: Robert Eklund from Unsplash